Thoughts about my first 6 months of work

This year has definitely been a transitioning year for me. To start off, I finally graduated from university, and then entered the working world 6 months ago when God opened the door for me to be employed as social worker. And til this day, I'm in awe and can't quite grasp the fact that God has blessed me with the opportunity to be a social worker. Sure, I went to school for it but it doesn't mean I'm capable of doing it.  Social work is a big job and entails heavy responsibilities dealing with the complexities of people's lives. And as a person who questions one's skills and abilities often, I find myself wondering how I do what I do or even begin the learning process. For instance, I'm not a person who likes change or risk-taking behavior whether big or small and I love to stick to my comfort zone. I'm confident to say that with whichever restaurant I go to, I order the same exact menu item at that restaurant time and time again. Salmon maki anyone? As well, the very verb "challenge" gives me mini anxiety attacks. I often don't know what to answer in those job interviews when the potential employers ask about my career goals and the expected answer "is be challenged". Don't get me wrong, I admire those who say they like challenges and mean it. But as for me, I believe part of my fears of change and growth stem from my childhood and the constant disruption I experienced due to my parent's separation. Over the years then, I've settled for normalcy and a status quo life. However, I'm starting to think that a status quo life is not exactly what God has in store for me. My job is emotionally demanding, risky, confrontational, uncertain, complex, stretching and rips me away from my comfort zone daily. My duties entail responsibilities that I never thought I was capable of doing whether its case management of 50 files, coordinating services, confronting and counseling belligerent parents, preparing legal documentation, facilitating meetings for families attended by other professionals such as doctors, school principles, other service providers where I feel this small and they look to me for direction. There's no other person to fall back on anymore, I'm it. Apparently the learning curve for this job is 2-5 years. Wish me luck!

Well how have I been surviving so far then with all these work challenges I face?  I can't think of a time when I relied on God more than with this job right now. I'm thankful that I get to put my faith in Him for strength and wisdom through prayer everyday to make thought out decisions involving my families. I'm also thankful for my family, friends and community for supporting me by listening and always asking how I'm doing. And when it comes to integrating my faith into my work, though I am restricted by a bureaucratic bubble that prevents me from sharing my faith openly, I can be an instrument and not just for my employer, but for God to show his love and care for the vulnerable populations. Most of my clients have been systemically oppressed, have difficult life histories and go through lives with no one ever telling them they are loved or of worth. However, I can choose to be respectful in my interactions and show caring understanding and empathy. I've also started praying for my clients on a daily basis and anticipate how God will answer my prayers. I'm definitely in a demanding field but I can't really imagine living the status quo life either. So with all the fears and anxieties related with my job, I put the future in God's hands and look forward to how He will continue to grow and stretch me in the coming year. Thanks for readingJ